is power…


…or curiosity killed the cat, I don’t know.

There is a documentary on HBO called ‘Diagnosis Bipolar’ about families struggling with children who have been diagnosed with… you guessed it… BiPolar disorder. If you have HBO, go to the documentary category, and give it a look see.

My ranting and raving offers insight into my daily thoughts and actions, which are no way indicative of mental illness or alcoholism and how those conditions affect others… only my own experience. I’m afraid my loopy scribbling is not only full of grammar nightmares, but they are just a nick on the surface of what my life is like.

I’m watching this movie as I write this, and so far, I’m having some trouble with children as the subjects.

First of all, I think that certain maladies are far too over diagnosed. ADHD, BiPolar, and Autism being a few of them. I am not saying that these things shouldn’t be explored when a person of any age shows signs of struggle, but there seem to be certain diseases de jour that are lazily or naively used to label people… especially children… by doctors who simply aren’t versed or broad enough to know what they’re doing. Or beholden to Pfizer.

Again, I am not saying these conditions are elves and fairy tales, but there is so much more to it. To anyone who really does suffer from something, I am truly empathetic and heartbroken. But, I’ve seen firsthand children who quite possibility are going through phases, or worse, being lumped in with true cases because it’s convenient or popular at the time. I’m sure drugs have something to do with it, too, but don’t get me started on big-pharma, lest my true monkeys start coming down from the trees and making a stink. It’s easy to pop a pill, but it’s harder to take the time to work with someone and get to know their history.

I’ve been struggling my whole life. If I ever had any doubt about my craziness… a word which I apply only to myself, because it’s funny to ME… that was erased during my most recent stay in the hospital. The period leading up to it was obvious, and the day itself was a horror… my parents saw a side of me that no parent should have to. I heard the nurses in the hall say that I had had a “psychotic break”. Yeah… to say the least. So, I’m in the club. At the very least, I’m a died-in-the wool addict, and anyone who thinks that doesn’t cause some brain damage is misguided. This is after all a blog about dual-diagnosis (addiction AND mental illness). Yes… I know that freewill is a component. Oh, and pipe down about my use of marijuana (no pun intended). I do know that I was feeling “wrong” going all the way back to early childhood. There are some situational factors there, but they weren’t the sole cause of my unquiet mind.

Back to this documentary. The more I watch, the more it becomes clear that the subjects are suffering. But, just as I said, I am becoming more and more suspicious of the “popularity” of conditions. Jesus, just watch a little television to see how many advertisements there are for medications geared towards depression, mania, etc. Son of God again… most of them cause diarrhea and brain tumors, so watch out. It strikes me as similar to the gluten-free and kale revolutions. Remember, cigarette ads used to feature doctors and celebrities touting the “Smooth, rich flavor” of Camel’s (True… seriously!) and Lucky’s. The Atkins guy died eating too much bacon, too… but he was quite possibly a quack. Remember, leg warmers were once popular too. So was untrimmed, hairy porn with flimsy plots.

I don’t ride a unicycle, but there’s a guy who does downtown while he plays the bagpipes. I just think he’s cool, not crazy.

Tricky business.

In closing, I’m going to be waving my eccentric flag high and proud today, so don’t anybody call the police or the hospital… just get over it, and let me be spirited… it’s better than under the blanket or hearing that woman’s voice that isn’t there. That happens sometimes, but I know what it is, and I’m okay with it. After all, it could be Gilbert Gottfried ranting in my skull.

Have a nice weekend, and don’t take any wooden nickels.

Dean Moberly

Vice President – Entertainment Cinemax


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